i usually go by wilds or bard these days. they/it/xe pronouns preferred but xe/hir, ze/hir and other older genderfucky neopronouns also fuck severely. you’ll sometimes see me use she/her or he/him pronouns for myself too, it fluctuates A Lot.
collectively queer, many-gendered, aroace, and nonbinary.
current interests: rain world, the sandman, rdr, iwtv, ffxiv
sideblogs: goalbond (various rpg and simulation games), dogwolf (wolfquest), tetherless (DID system blog)
some notes:
don’t call me a man outside of inside jokes/bits or unless we’re close friends or i’ve otherwise referred to myself as one in a post. most of the time i’m not one, no matter how much i might look like it… or at the very least i’m not only that.
i’m diagnosed with DID. sometimes i’m pretty open about it on here, sometimes i keep shit to my sideblogs. it varies. i can’t diagnose you and i’m not interested in trying.
please tag c*ncer and t*rminal illn*ss to the best of your ability. i lost my dear friend/partner to it in 2022 and it fucking sucked.
somehow instead of saying “as a treat”, I’ve started using the phrase “for morale”, as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I’m not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
still so fucking weird to go from real life, where a cis man being flamboyant/effeminate/camp is judged like 70+% by how he speaks and carries himself, to online queer communities, which often seem to have no concept of male gender non-conformity that doesn’t involve wearing a skirt
i promise you, a man can be fem to the point of being in danger while wearing literally exactly the same thing as a hypermasculine guy. a boring basic black suit. a t shirt and jeans. a UNIFORM. gender conformity is not only about what you wear
None of you have watched that heartbreaking scene in The Birdcage where Albert gives up wearing everything he likes to try and blend in for their son’s conservative prospective in-laws and is so awkward and uncomfortable that no one says much until finally he says, defeated, “I know what you’re thinking - dressed like this, I’m even more obvious, aren’t I?” and it shows.
Here, have your queer heart broken:
This is what I’m talking about. This is still literally how it is in most places in the Midwest if you’re trying to “pass” for straight/cis/whatever.
I cannot begin to describe how hard I cried when I saw this scene the first time and how confused my conservative family was as to why I was crying.
It’s so funny how literally the way a man holds his wrists is an indication of femininity but also people think it’s all about makeup and clothing. But we’re also at a point that if you have a suit that is any color other than black, dark grey, or navy, it’s flamboyant.
Men’s sartorial stylings are so rigidly controlled it’s painful. Tim Gunn here is at the very absolute bleeding edge of “acceptably masculine” here for most cishet men, just for some noticible stripes, patterns, and purple, and that’s before he even moves. This is how restricted it is.
But Trixie Mattel (out of drag here) wearing standard masculine garb is could still be deemed unacceptably feminine for body language alone.
This is why we talk about “toxic masculinity” – the idea that any expression of emotion besides anger or even wearing colorful clothes is non-masculine and therefore restricted is horrifying. It sucks! Men should be allowed to express themselves outside of a tiny box of acceptable behavior, because they’re, y'know, people, and people have a wide range of expression in the way they like to look and move and act.
I honestly feel like it’s gotten worse over the last couple decades, too. If you look at men’s fashions from the 70s and even into the 80s, there’s a lot of style choices that look pretty cringe to us, but…. you also see a lot more color and pattern in suits than you do now. I’m not sure when this started to shift, or if it’s tied in to the increasing lack of color in all consumer products, but it sucks.
AH YES FLASHBACKS to that one Particular Person on That One Discord who compared an asthma puffer to drug addiction and telling disabled people to "walk it off"
G O D the latter part i could sort of forgive because i don’t think that’s what they MEANT to say/imply, but the first one was just COMPLETELY AND EXPLICITLY “IF YOU TAKE INHALERS FOR ASTHMA YOU GET ADDICTED” AND I’M LIKE…. BRO…
7. what’s a struggle you wish more people talked about?
uhhh how much of a balancing act being disabled actually is. it’s not as simple as “i don’t have leg pain today so i can go and do An Activity”. most of the time, for me anyway, it’s “i don’t have leg pain but i WILL have that and fatigue after i go and do this activity, and socialising will probably make the fatigue worse, and it will create a knock-on effect that will prevent me from doing many other things… AND i’m likely to keep having a pain flareup afterwards”. or it’s “i don’t have leg pain but i can only walk halfway to my destination before it does hurt and i regret coming at all”. or it’s “i don’t have leg pain but i have an appointment later in the week and i’m conserving my energy for it because the walking will make me hurt”.
and the way that all of that makes it incredibly frustrating to be friends with able-bodied people because they just Do Not Get It even when they think they do, and that includes autistic able-bodied people who think that not having spoons for something because of autism (which is a very valid thing, to be clear) is the same as not having spoons for something because it will take a physical toll on your body. even well-meaning able-bodied people will still make you feel guilty for not being able to do what they want you to be able to do.
9. how do you measure your energy? (spoons, battery, something else?)
i guess spoons but usually only when i’m out of them? idk i dont really ‘measure’ my energy consciously. i either have enough energy to do something or i don’t. i can’t really predict how 'many’ spoons i have most of the time, idk
13. whats the most Abled Person Thing someone has said to you?
tbh mostly just doctors being like “you’re deconditioned, try these exercises” after i was like “btw ive done these for a long while. they do not help and they hurt a lot” lmfao
I’m so sleepy but I have persisted anyway bc i am so brave
feel free to reblog, try and send an ask to the person you’re reblogging from so the game doesn’t die, and absolutely never be pressured to answer anything that feels too personal–this is about/inspiration for what you Want to share about disability and experiences being disabled, not what you feel like you have to! (also: this ask game is PRO SELF DX.)
what disability/ies do you have? (and are they mental, physical, or both?)
how long have you known you’re disabled? does that match up with diagnosis?
what, if any, disability aids do you use? (mobility aids, sensory aids, braces, communicative devices, IVs, etc. meds also count here). do you customize them/their containers/outsides?
do you know any disabled people irl? what about online?
if you have multiple disabilities: do they affect each other? how?
what’s something good that’s come out of being disabled?
what’s a struggle you wish more people talked about?
does your disability affect how you experience other parts of your identity? (gender, queerness, culture, even hobbies/life goals you’re very passionate about)
how do you measure your energy? (spoons, battery, something else?)
whats something youve come up with or integrated into your life that makes disability easier, besides typical aids?
how would you label your support needs?
what’s something (a struggle, a symptom, a weird phenomenon, or even a funny experience) people don’t realize about your disability?
whats the most Abled Person Thing someone has said to you?
has there ever been a time where you felt solidarity/community with another disabled person in a situation with you?
what does disability pride mean to you?
free space to talk about whatever disability issue or experience you want !
i definitely think minecraft won’t be the game for everyone in the end and that’s just how things are no problem but i do think *some* people who don’t get the hype of it just need to play with their friends and build a house with them. its also for doing things like this.
